Recently, we were discussing various conspiracy theories. Did man really land on the moon? Martian devoutly believes not, I don't know. Who really killed Kennedy? And who's been killing them all since? Then we got onto some even less serious ones. One involved the Pope, but that was just weird. Another involved the Sunny Delight and why they have to test it on animals, and if there are any orange cats wandering the cells of an RSPCA home somewhere. I really don't like Sunny D, in case you hadn't noticed. And then I thought of something that had been bothering me for a while now...
Last night, as I made some strawberry milkshake for my brother, as I often do, I pondered its pinkness. I was stirring it, and I was stirring it, and I was scraping the glaze from the bottom of the mug trying to make this milk pink. It would not go! I sprinkled a bit more in, and it affected an off-white colour. Wondering if there was something wrong with it, I sipped it and could definitely taste the strawberry flavour. But where was the colour?
It has been gradually decreasing over the past few years, a phenomena uncommonly known as...
The Nesquick Conspiracy
Over the past eight years I have noticed that it takes more and more milkshake powder to make the milk pink. It used to be one spoonful and it was a soft pastel shade. Then that gradually developed into one and a half. That has now grown to two plus VAT and you're somewhere close to a colour. They have been gradually reducing the amount of food dye over the years, meaning you put more in to satisfy little Jimmy's want of coloured milk, making you run out faster and spend more money on buying more packets.
This also brings up to the surface some home truths about little Jimmy, if he likes the colour pink that much...
But his teeth! The more powder, the more sugar, the less teeth. Not good when little Jimmy wants to wow all the boys with his perfect smile. Tonight, when I make Nick's milkshake, I'm putting pink food colouring in it. Nick doesn't mind that it isn't pink, but it isn't fair to constantly give him poorly coloured milk.
So next time you make strawberry milkshake, just bare in mind how much powder you're putting into that mug. But the same isn't true for chocolate milkshake, the struggle there is in getting the damned stuff to dissolve...
