Look! Second entry! Has it taken long? How often are these things usually updated? I don't know.
But anyway, here I am, back for more. The crowd bays for blood, but I'm afraid all I can offer is a wet bank holiday and Thorpe Park. Let's start at the start:
So the August bank holiday came sneaking round again. Any excuse to do permanent harm to both yourself and your house for many people, but not us. Oh no, we don't 'do' it ourselves, it's very rarely done at all! But next door were banging and crashing all day (and banging all night) so I retrated to my shed. My shed is not any kind of shack, shrine or secret hideout for my Get Along style gang, it's just a shed, just in case you were wondering. Anyway! I was sitting in there apparently doing maths homework, but you know how it is. So there I was, listening to the radio when I wasn't reading, and they were talking about bombing Iraq (like that's anything new!), and I was considering other great out-of-hand intenational pissing contests. Aside from imperialism, the biggest one has to be WW1, that all-encompassing tragedy stretched over 4 years, which saw men shot for not wanting to die - find me the logic - and aimless running into hails of bullets to gain territory. And all because some trigger-happy twat decided to shoot the rich guy!
But I didn't bother listening much in history class, they only taught us crap stuff like what Roman women wore and how underfloor heating worked, and the Tudors! Oh how I learned about the Tudors! Do I want to hear about some fat old man who gets it regular? No! Do I want to hear about how his daughter burned people for believing in essentially the same god but in a slightly different way? No! I want to learn about Druid sacrifices and Greek gods! I want to know how Ghengis Khan managed to conquer most of Asia and then die by falling off his horse! I don't really care that India was basically enslaved by mad dogs and over-dressed English men, I want to know how India won her inddependence from its far off oppressors! Is curriculum history designed to estrange us from the subject, only drawing us back in with promises of school trips to London? History in school could be so gripping, but so much of it will never be used again as long as we live unless we become historians.
Ah, that's better now that's off my chest. But that is a lot of what I was thinking in my shed. Note how I started off with war and ended with moaning. Is that the story of my life?
So yesterday I wake up to be told I'm going to Thorpe Park (a reasonabe-sized theme park by most standards, crap by the standards of those people who have holidays in the sun at any spare moment). So yes, I ended up, at 10:00 in the morning, winging my way down the M25 towards Thorpe Park. I won't give you all the trashy details, and I tell you now I did not go in the shop and buy the complete Thorpe Park production line... I still have a rubber from when I went there about 8 years ago. But they've got that new 10 loop rollercoaster, and there's only one word for it: fuck! Sorry for all those easily offended among you, but that is THE only word I could find to describe it. 'Golly' just wasn't forceful enough. But it's got this corkscrew bit that goes round about 5 times, but I swear the whole thing has more than 10 turns! So off I got, surprisingly steadily. Next we went on 'Detonator', which sounds more like something that throws you into the sky than drops you 100 feet down a skinny pole lined with electromagnets. But we duly queued and were duly dropped 100 feet. I was going to scream as it dropped, because it really was worthy of it, but you can't! I couldn't breathe in or out, we were travelling too fast! Adreneline rushed in to replace the oxygen I wasn't getting, but I don't know what my body was thinking, because it just meant I couldn't walk in a straight line. The only other big shocking thing we wnt on was called 'Vortex', but I was more scared of the horrible girls in front of us in the queue spitting on us than of being spun in a large circle 50 feet in the air. It was disgusting! They were spitting little puddles every time the queue stopped! I would have slapped them all one after the other if it wouldn't have got my hand slobbery. Yuck! Then they exchanged belly buttons rings, how nasy does it get?! What next, live organ transplants with grubby hands? Yuck yuck yuck! Thankfully they didn't spit when we were on the ride, and if they did it would have hit them back in the face. Ha I hope it did.
I've written a lot this time, is that a bad thing? Well, it's called an outlet for my mind, this is my mind and my page so I guess you can't complain. Hopefully next time I update this I will have the results of my one-legged survey proccessed, and may have figured out how to do links and stuff on different bits of the page... well, when my sister can help me. I wasn't cut out for all this web design stuff, I just write. But as soon as I figure out how to put my email address on here you can bug me with nice things!
